In the age of the Internet keeping your confidence can be increasingly tough. No longer are you just competing within your local community but instead you are up against a global community instead.
The moment you feel as though you have a second of weakness just scrolling through a social feed can have the power to knock you from a wobble to a full on break down.
I’ve hated the idea that I too could be susceptible and yet I feel as though I have been affected deeply by this very problem. When I took the first blog break in 2015 I was a quickly rolling stone, I was writing and posting up to four posts per week, I was marketing the blog, putting my heart, soul and body full force into therealjlow.
Unfortunately when the real world came crushing in I let it fall to the side rather than fighting to keep its place. In hindsight I realize the better idea could have been to ditch my London time-suck job and actually commit to my dream. However, we had just bought a house, and honestly? I’m not sure that the blog was all that cool or awesome. And if we are being honest? I was scared of being that vulnerable to the world.
Here is the thing, anyone can write a blog, and anyone can become an Insta-famous, influencer. It is easy enough, but if you don’t have anything particularly unique to say and you don’t stay true to yourself, eventually you are going to get caught out. I was constantly feeling that disconnect and with that ever looming over my shoulder it felt reckless to follow something which didn’t feel true-enough to me.
In my own journey I cannot regret anything that I have done over the last few years. From recovery and self-confidence building, everything, which I have done in the background, has started building myself back up in the forefront.
I’m still in love with the idea of therealjlow. It’s the life that you want on the budget you’ve got. It is cutting through that Internet drivel and instead presenting yourself in your truest form, regardless of what society is asking of you. That is at the heart of it exactly what therealjlow is. However, I know that to share that vision with the world I have to live in my truest self as well, taking one day at the time.
The hardest hurdle in the Internet world is this idea of fitting in. You can easily say, well I have never fit in so why start now? But I think beyond presenting yourself in the most authentic way possible, the other is to be accepting of yourself and make sure that you are comfortable within your own image.
A great sticking point for me has been my weight. I stopped posting on the Internet the moment that I stopped feeling comfortable in my body, and I don’t just mean that from the prospect of the outside world and being judged for being heavier than desired, but in myself I felt uncomfortable.
The reason I think I keep pushing to come back to the blog is because my fashion and style is interesting now. Because of the life that I have continued to live I feel more interesting and I want to share that because for once my voice does feel, truly unique.
I had never felt like that before and there I think lies the difference between then and now, therealjlow could work, but it can’t work until I start taking ownership of my body and giving myself my own confidence again.
When I look back on feeling confident in my skin, I do think back to that summer in 2015. When I think of myself at my most high performing and happiest, it is when I am pushed the furthest. It’s something that my day job is now; there are no short cuts, no dull days and no backseats. You have to be on your game and six steps ahead at any one time to survive and now I feel as though the best way to keep confidence on the outside as well is to take those lessons and funnel them out of my professional work and straight into my personal.
To keep pushing myself and working hard to get to the point where therealjlow lives up to its potential and that it can start helping other women face the Internet with confidence. The confidence in that their own drum is 100% better than any anagram or layout that anyone can provide.
To find that confidence comes to the individual, it comes to me to take the harder road and to push through, to strive to be my best self and isn’t that what any of us should be doing?
This life is just a journey on which our souls can learn and for now my next step is to keep remembering that I am a work in progress and I am a flawed and imperfect being and as long as I am true to my inner voice, and myself that success will surely follow.
How do you keep confidence in the face of the Internet? How can you succeed when there are so many people hoping you may fail? Leave your tips in the comments, or tweet me with how you keep your head above the water.